What the fuck...
It seems like everyone and their mother is out to piss me off these days. First off, my boss is constantly riding my ass to finish the training manual and go over it with the girl who will be taking my place when I leave my job the first week of August. That much I can understand, but every single time I do ANYTHING she asks me "Is that in the manual?" NO IT IS NOT! I can't detail every single fucking thing I do all day. There's so much variety in the things that come up in a giant university bureaucracy that it's IMPOSSIBLE to write everything out in detail. The damned thing is already up to 96 pages typed in 12 pt Times New Roman font. Not to mention, she wants things cross referenced with other related items elsewhere in the manual. At some point, it has to be considered "complete" so I can actually DO that. If I keep adding things, the pages get all screwed up and I have to redo the entire table of contents and cross reference points. It's insane and a bit too much to ask of one person!
Perhaps I'm just being pregnant bitchy, but Jesus H. Christ... I can't do EVERYTHING. I can't ensure that the person following in my footsteps, so to speak, will even read the damned thing... let alone be able to figure out anything on her own if it's not right there in front of her. I'm trying to ease the transition as much as I can, but I am only one person and I need to do something other than write shit for the desk manual for hours on end. I'm about to go nuts! I've been working on getting it all together for weeks now and it seems like every time I think I've got it just about done, there's something else she wants me to add... and sometimes she hasn't a CLUE what she's talking about!
Don't get me wrong, I love my boss to death and think she's a wonderful person, but sometimes her expectations are a LITTLE too high. The person who is taking over for me has it a LOT better than I did as my instructions and notes are a bit more explicit than the ones that were left for me. It's detailed and very step-by-step oriented, so I don't know what the hell the problem is. My boss got pissed off at me when I snapped at her this morning because I was going over something with the girl who is taking my place and my boss says "Are you taking notes for the desk manual?" (No, I thought I'd leave that part out so it can be a big surprise when that girl tries to do it again later.) Duh... I've taken notes for everything else, why the fuck wouldn't I take notes for that too?
We have this asshole who is threatening to sue the university if he's not admitted. He's even gone so far as to accuse me of discriminating against him because he's disabled. No... I just told him he needs to submit his application for graduate school just like everyone else. What a jerk! He got really shitty with me over the phone, so I told him his circumstances are out of my hands, I've done everything I can to help him, and I won't tolerate being spoken to that way, so he needs to deal with someone else.... not me. Congratulations Dr. G you have a brand new asshole to deal with!
My husband is telling me what I will and won't do after the baby is born. "You won't want to go to school." Uhm...I won't? Thanks for the vote of confidence, dear. Love you too. He says "Oh, we won't need that" when it comes to things I've put on the registry. For example, the wipes warmer. I don't know about you, but I don't like cold wet things on my ass, so I doubt the baby will either. We're having a baby in December and even with the heater on, the wipes are moist so they will likely be barely room temperature. I don't want to subject my already irritable dirty/wet baby to that in the middle of the night. It's bad enough that he works nights, so I'll have to manage things on my own from 8pm until 4:30am... right during the hours I'll be trying to sleep so I can get up in the morning for work/school. He gets out of this easy! My mom's taking the baby during the day so he'll have a blissfully long day of sleep without a child waking up to be fed and/or changed every couple of hours. That is, if I don't call to wake him up every few hours just to be a bitch. :)
Last but not least, my mom's bugging me with the constant "Are you sure it's a good idea to quit your job and start working part time so you can go to school?" Well, now that you mention it, not entirely, but if the fall semester goes badly, I'll be the first to admit it and find myself another full time job right after I have the baby. I'm not stupid. I know the limits to what I can and can not do and I've figured up the finances well enough to survive off Mike's salary, what I should earn at a part-time job (bare minimum), and financial aid money remaining after paying my tuition/fees/books. I think we can manage.
I'm afraid that if I were to put off going back to school until the "right time", I'll never finish my degree and I'll be stuck with a job that's entirely unfulfilling and completely lacking in intellectual stimulation for the rest of my working life, which is another 40+ years. No thanks. Finishing my education is ultimately the best thing for me and my family. It'll be tough getting there, but it will be so much more rewarding when all is said and done.
Eh, I'm sure I'll get over all of this soon enough, but people need to just let me be and have a little faith/trust in me to do what needs to be done when it needs to be done. I can't stand people breathing on the back of my neck or peeking over my shoulder constantly. It drives me nuts!
On a more positive note, Baby L is still doing well according to the doppler. I think I managed to count the heartrate tonight and it seems to be about 150 bpm and as strong as ever. Our big ultrasound is on the 19th, so we're waiting to see if our feelings are correct and this is, in fact, a girl. Hopefully the kiddo puts on a good show for us... legs spread wide and far, please!!!!!
Perhaps I'm just being pregnant bitchy, but Jesus H. Christ... I can't do EVERYTHING. I can't ensure that the person following in my footsteps, so to speak, will even read the damned thing... let alone be able to figure out anything on her own if it's not right there in front of her. I'm trying to ease the transition as much as I can, but I am only one person and I need to do something other than write shit for the desk manual for hours on end. I'm about to go nuts! I've been working on getting it all together for weeks now and it seems like every time I think I've got it just about done, there's something else she wants me to add... and sometimes she hasn't a CLUE what she's talking about!
Don't get me wrong, I love my boss to death and think she's a wonderful person, but sometimes her expectations are a LITTLE too high. The person who is taking over for me has it a LOT better than I did as my instructions and notes are a bit more explicit than the ones that were left for me. It's detailed and very step-by-step oriented, so I don't know what the hell the problem is. My boss got pissed off at me when I snapped at her this morning because I was going over something with the girl who is taking my place and my boss says "Are you taking notes for the desk manual?" (No, I thought I'd leave that part out so it can be a big surprise when that girl tries to do it again later.) Duh... I've taken notes for everything else, why the fuck wouldn't I take notes for that too?
We have this asshole who is threatening to sue the university if he's not admitted. He's even gone so far as to accuse me of discriminating against him because he's disabled. No... I just told him he needs to submit his application for graduate school just like everyone else. What a jerk! He got really shitty with me over the phone, so I told him his circumstances are out of my hands, I've done everything I can to help him, and I won't tolerate being spoken to that way, so he needs to deal with someone else.... not me. Congratulations Dr. G you have a brand new asshole to deal with!
My husband is telling me what I will and won't do after the baby is born. "You won't want to go to school." Uhm...I won't? Thanks for the vote of confidence, dear. Love you too. He says "Oh, we won't need that" when it comes to things I've put on the registry. For example, the wipes warmer. I don't know about you, but I don't like cold wet things on my ass, so I doubt the baby will either. We're having a baby in December and even with the heater on, the wipes are moist so they will likely be barely room temperature. I don't want to subject my already irritable dirty/wet baby to that in the middle of the night. It's bad enough that he works nights, so I'll have to manage things on my own from 8pm until 4:30am... right during the hours I'll be trying to sleep so I can get up in the morning for work/school. He gets out of this easy! My mom's taking the baby during the day so he'll have a blissfully long day of sleep without a child waking up to be fed and/or changed every couple of hours. That is, if I don't call to wake him up every few hours just to be a bitch. :)
Last but not least, my mom's bugging me with the constant "Are you sure it's a good idea to quit your job and start working part time so you can go to school?" Well, now that you mention it, not entirely, but if the fall semester goes badly, I'll be the first to admit it and find myself another full time job right after I have the baby. I'm not stupid. I know the limits to what I can and can not do and I've figured up the finances well enough to survive off Mike's salary, what I should earn at a part-time job (bare minimum), and financial aid money remaining after paying my tuition/fees/books. I think we can manage.
I'm afraid that if I were to put off going back to school until the "right time", I'll never finish my degree and I'll be stuck with a job that's entirely unfulfilling and completely lacking in intellectual stimulation for the rest of my working life, which is another 40+ years. No thanks. Finishing my education is ultimately the best thing for me and my family. It'll be tough getting there, but it will be so much more rewarding when all is said and done.
Eh, I'm sure I'll get over all of this soon enough, but people need to just let me be and have a little faith/trust in me to do what needs to be done when it needs to be done. I can't stand people breathing on the back of my neck or peeking over my shoulder constantly. It drives me nuts!
On a more positive note, Baby L is still doing well according to the doppler. I think I managed to count the heartrate tonight and it seems to be about 150 bpm and as strong as ever. Our big ultrasound is on the 19th, so we're waiting to see if our feelings are correct and this is, in fact, a girl. Hopefully the kiddo puts on a good show for us... legs spread wide and far, please!!!!!
posted by Krystal at 7:41 PM
3 Comments:
This too shall pass Krystal. You know what's best for you, that's all that matters. Hang in there. Glad you're still doing so well.
Uhhm, yeah. Everyone has advice about everything when you've got a baby coming. You just smile and nod and then do what you want! It's your life, your family, right?
And you're really close to being out of that workplace! Hopefully the next few weeks just fly by and then it will be one less thing to deal with.
((hugs))
Becci's right, all you can do with advice is smile and nod. You are taking on a lot, but if you feel you can handle it, then go for it. My Dad had 2 kids, worked 2 jobs, went to school full time, and my Mom worked part time. People manage...you'll manage!
And tell Mike who the hell cares if you NEED something or not. You WANT it and hopefully someone one else will buy it for you, so why not put it on your registry?? If no one buys it for you, you can always opt not to buy it yourself, but why not put it on there anyway? I just had this conversation with Joe. I swear, men just don't get it, do they? :)
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